Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize