i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
