I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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