dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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