so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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