my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
