I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
