oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
