the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize