You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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