I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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