fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize