I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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