He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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