Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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