What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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