I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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