just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize