I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
