Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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