Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize