tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
