i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
