Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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