The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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