I like my sex mixed with concussions.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize