Do you still have your period?
If that was your dad, he is hot
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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