Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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