Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts