It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow