Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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