4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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