I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Randomize
