i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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