Im at strip club and am horny
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize