we made out on top of his cat.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize