sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize