Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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