im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she looked like the before picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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