My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
