You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
