She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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