the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
my liver is dry heaving
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
