just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize