i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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