If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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