their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
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I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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