I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
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Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
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If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize