she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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