margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
