Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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