I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
