note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize