its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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